She’s right up there with your stylist as enemy #1 on your journey to find happiness. Meanwhile, Krystal looks like she’s about to beat the shit out of Bekah. S15 E2 Recap . Nah. God, the chicken guy is bitchier than the risk management chair in my sorority. Trista is often asked her secret to being one of the rare reality-TV relationships to make it to the altar and beyond. In this heartfelt book, she shares the simple yet profound keys to finding everyday happiness: gratitude and grace. I love a good multitask! In 2015, Viall returned for a second chance in the following season of The Bachelorette, when he was a guest in the fourth week at the New York City date with Bachelorette Kaitlyn Bristowe. Peter gives Sydney the group date rose because she was “open and honest” with him, and this might be the first time in history that a rat has ever gotten the group date rose. Subscribe to The Betches Newsletter so you're not the only one in the group chat who doesn't know WTF is going on when we talk about celebs, reality TV, & more. Ryanne wants you to know that her name is pronounced “Ryan” and that this is her childhood trauma. OMFG AND HE GETS THE ROSE FOR THIS. Short answer: A lot. Matt says that Black people always face an "extra level of scrutiny," especially when they're the first to do something. He knew, therefore, that however he came across on the show would be held up as an example of "how Black people move" through the world. You know you want to bang him even though he’s a scumbag, so just pick him already and get it over with. Her first line of questioning: does Alayah have a job? Does your mom even know how to spell??? Their arguments would be much more believable if even one of them showed a single, physical flaw in front of the cameras. Idk? Found insideOnce again, Dorfman “doesn’t hold back” (HuffPost) as she recounts her romantic mishaps, city adventures, and, of course, insider Bachelor experiences. Single State of Mind is Sex and the City for the reality TV generation. For a girl who is terrified of everything, Annaliese continues to seek out her worst fear, which is getting dumped on national television. Okay, these instructors are straight-up terrifying. Kelsey, please never change. Oh for god’s sake. I’m a 36-year-old comedian who loves The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. Cut to the cocktail portion of this evening, and Becca is once again blinding me with her outfit choice. PETER: *laughs nervously* but you haven’t faked anything with me, right? First, they discuss a recent rumor regarding Scooter Braun and Erica Jane, which leads Jordana to share a story about meeting Scooter in person. Okay, but seriously what is Chris’ damage here? Found insideNext Big Idea Club selection—chosen by Malcolm Gladwell, Susan Cain, Dan Pink, and Adam Grant as one of the "two most groundbreaking new nonfiction reads of the season!" "This book has the power to change everything! She’s 118 pounds of lip liner and hairspray and she has the confidence of a person who’s never been on a date that ended with the guy venmoing her for drinks. A. VELVET. Chris’s sob story is dark. This entire date she’s been quietly seething that Arie had to go and ruin her chances of being t. . Seeing Bri, Michelle, Serena P. and Rachael get the hometown treatment with Matt James during Week 8 was difficult. Watching a 22-year-old, physically flawless Instagram model understand rejection for the first time in her charmed life is truly giving me life. If those names sound surprising to you, that’s because her selection process was done much […] Maybe let’s have this discussion when you get some screen time with the eyelashes and lips you were born with, mmkay? recap: Uncomfortable conversations. Seriously. It was horrible! Stream Tracks and Playlists from The Betchelor on your desktop or mobile device. we were treated to what might be the best thing I’ve ever seen on my television screen: #ChampagneGate2020. *whispers to self* She’s so fucking dumb and she has no style. ??? Arie asks her about her longest relationship and she mentions it lasted 2-3 years. The Betchelor is a Bachelor recap podcast presented by social producer Kay Brown of Betches Media and former Bachelorette heartthrob and Bachelor in Paradise winner Derek Peth. Becca’s like “Did Garrett do it? BYE. First the pickup truck, and now this outing to shop for cowboy boots? She’s distraught from the attack on her character. What a solid proclamation of his intentions. I can only assume he’s this pissed because he had a specific deal with Bumble to only mention Bumble when he has screen time and now David is ruining his early sponsorship success. You know what’s more of a romantic gesture, Bibi? *has the life story of a Lifetime movie heroine, the cheekbones of a Hadid sister, and pursued a career in medicine to help others*, I think Peter was a little surprised to learn that Hot Victoria is more than just an Instagram filter brought to life because his reaction feels a little too heavy-handed to me. It’s week 3 of Bachelor in Paradise, and right on schedule, Bachelor in Paradise is turning into Bachelor in Hell. Do better, Chris. She introduces her two muscled henchwomen as Champagne and Killer, and this feels on the nose even for ABC. Okay, this spa robe is the least hideous thing I’ve seen Becca wear all season. If he were going to commit an act of violence, it would be against Becca’s stylist for personally offending me him week after week with her style selections. Season 16, Episode 12 Recap: Farewell, Fantasy. New celebrity relationships and breakups, TV show recaps, answering fan submitted questions and special celebrity guest interviews. As the women start dressing in various states of lace, silk, and in Savannah’s case, Victorian necklines, this is beginning to feel less like a group date and more like a sorority hazing ritual that will end in one of them threatening to call their daddy the lawyer. Next up, we have Baby Bekah. For Week 3, they go solo to recap episodes 4 and 5! First impressions are everything!! I feel like ABC wants us to believe Jordan had something to do with this, and I’m not buying it. Anyway, moving on to the group date. leaning into this country vibe today. Catch up on last week’s Bachelor recap here! I’m truly shocked that she’s managed to delay her expiration date for this franchise by this much, but I guess that’s what the new face was for…. She seems genuine, plus she’s age-appropriate and seems like she enjoys missionary sex with the lights off. "From a New York Times bestselling author, an astounding work of fiction, both incredibly funny and heartfelt, asking readers to embrace the fantastical in order to get to the heart of racism, police violence, and the hidden costs exacted ... The Betches defended their right, as feminists (or not, who cares), to Brazilian-wax their vaginas, via sorority-girl screeds. I’m going to revisit this upsetting fact with my therapist later. How very brave. Elsewhere, Jordan is, like, bragging about his Tinder matches. ALAYAH: I can’t fake anything I swear!! betches.com - Hello, Bachelor fam, and welcome back to your regularly scheduled Bachelorette recap! Chris Harrison waltzes into the Bachelor mansion and it’s like, how very nice to see you Christopher! The ambulance whisks Clay away and the camera pans to Becca, who looks like she’s starting to question if men are actively putting themselves in the ICU to get away from her. Alayah hasn’t even put on her eyelash extensions yet! She’s like “so, Alayah do you work” and it’s like, of course she doesn’t work, sweetie. I hate this about myself already but…I might…actually like Lauren S.? Bibiana and Raven’s friend immediately start crying in a corner because they can’t take a menopausal woman’s amateur insults. Catch her on Instagram (@ryprobst) where she’s either posting pictures of her dog or sliding into the DMs of former reality TV dating stars (you know who you are). Hi, I’m Jared Freid. We all have our crosses to bear! I am horrified. He asks her about the producer thing and you can see the moment she knows she’s f*cked. Can you clarify for us here? OMG PETER. Betches Co-Founders Aleen Dreksler, Jordana Abraham, and Sami Sage are taking you on the journey of how Betches came to be and inside the minds of the women who created it. Wow, way to make history, Sydney. Read The Best Bachelor Recap You'll Ever Read: Part 8 from the story THE BEST BACHELOR RECAP YOU'LL EVER READ by thebetches (Betches) with 624 reads. I can’t remember. Welcome back fellow Bachelor fans to the best Bachelor recap you’ll ever read according to me, the author and person who blackmails her friends into reading her recaps for clicks! Meanwhile, MyKenna’s anguish is actually visible throughout this entire rose ceremony. The Bachelor Recap: Fun and Games This week’s dates have a real sixth-grade-birthday-party energy to them. It gives me hope for the future. We hope everyone. That’s right, Katie has narrowed down her list of eligible bachelors to her final two men: Blake and Justin. BECCA, WHAT IN GOD’S NAME ARE YOU WEARING?? (Please … The Best 'Bachelor In Paradise' Recap You'll Ever Read: Smells Like Desperation | Betches - Flipboard The two chat about her move to LA and her life after a public breakup and starting her own line of sparkling wine, Bourdon. ?They're right here waiting for you! I’m half expecting Caroline to mediate this shit by throwing in a few scathing “how could you’s?” every five seconds of this convo. This weekly podcast fol. Bachelor in Paradise Season 7, Episode 2 Recap: The Real W... Last week on Bachelor in Paradise, we got Sad But Then Happy Grocery Store Joe, … the betchelor podcast. I’m not really feeling this date. We also address some difficult conversations about racism and accountability, before going on to recap this week's episode. HOT VICTORIA: *has the life story of a Lifetime movie heroine, the cheekbones of a Hadid sister, and pursued a career in medicine to help others* Tia grabs Colton for a hello hug. I’m sure her commentary will prove riveting. is back for another season of soulmate searching as 22 “unlucky in love” singles head to New Orleans to officially find their perfect match and unofficially audition for future seasons of The Challenge.. I’m going back to reading my book. Yes, it’s the day after July 4th and, yes, ABC had the audacity … Found insideCourtney Robertson joined season 16 of The Bachelor looking for love. A working model and newly single, Courtney fit the casting call: She was young, beautiful, and a natural in front of the cameras. ME ON MY COUCH, EMPTYING A BAG OF CHEETOS STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH: Sydney brings her concerns about Alayah’s “realness” to Peter’s attention. Whether it’s a trap for Becca’s fame-thirsty friends or the guys, I’m not sure, but I am on high fucking alert. From their awkward middle school years to founding Betches and beyond, get to know the women who've been making us laugh since 2011. See you next week where we’ll learn if Peter brings Alayah back and the women in turn form an angry mob where they draw and quarter him in the town square for his idiocy. Until then! Hannah and Peter’s date is a “Latvian-style spa day,” complete with robes, honey sauce, and a lengthy serenade from a local woman. ME: *crickets*. Is this what rock bottom looks like? Chris Harrison shows up at Becca’s door and breaks the news about David. Bachelorette. Jesus. ME AND ALL OF AMERICA: Becca has yet another discussion with Colton about if he did or did not play a game of “just the tip” with Tia. This weekly podcast follows the latest episodes and makes fun of all the ridiculous things the contestants say and do – because honestly, why else watch the show if not for the commentary? A recap of ABC’s The Bachelor week five, season 24 episode 5. I’m shocked. Also, I just left the room for five minutes to chug as much rosé as needed to get through the last stretch of this episode, only to come back and see that Clay is injured?? HAHA oh this is fucking priceless. 686 Followers. He’s being suuuper vague about what happened, but somehow David got mad fucked up at the house and is in the hospital?? Nice play, Hot Victoria. If you’re looking for some analysis that Clare is the Worst Bachelorette Ever, you won’t find it here. Good luck, Sydney! This weekly podcast follows the latest episodes and makes fun of all the ridiculous things the contestants say and do – because honestly, why else watch the show if … ... Betches also has a GREAT Bachelorette recap ... Joanna Goddard says... oh my gosh, that betches recap might be the best thing i’ve ever read on the internet. This date is so boring that my mother is actually full-on passed out on this couch. Is it sad that my bar for her style is set somewhere below hotel freebies. More BIP Coverage! From their awkward middle school years to founding Betches and beyond, get … Predictions for this group date: Bibiana beats the shit out of Krystal, Bibiana beats the shit out of Arie. I’m genuinely terrified of what this girl might do with him alone. How hard up for money does this guy have to be if he’d willingly choose to sing a Bachelorette’s shitty poem on live fucking television? Tbh if I were Becca I would not trust one word that comes out of Tia’s mouth. New York, US The Betchelor is a Bachelor recap podcast presented by social producer Kay Brown of Betches Media and former Bachelorette heartthrob and Bachelor in Paradise winner Derek Peth. University of Central Florida. Jesus. See you Monday night, A post shared by Chris Harrison (@chrisbharrison) on Jan 17, 2020 at 4:46pm PST. Jun 10, 2021 - Explore betches's board "Betches Travel", followed by 14664 people on Pinterest. The Top 7 WTF Moments From This Season of The Bachelor 1.1K 35 2. by thebetches. Unsurprisingly, Hot Victoria scores a rose from today’s date, because as if Peter could eliminate her after hearing a sob story like that. That Eugene is a REAL scoundrel. Idk. But what’s the criteria behind her selecting them for these dates? Kenny comes out looking fine as hell. ACTUAL FOOTAGE OF ANNALISE AND ARIE’S CONVERSATION RN: God, I’m so embarrassed for this girl rn. Dosey don’t you feel the sparks between these two #thebachelor #bachelornation, A post shared by Bachelor Nation (@bachelornation) on Jan 20, 2020 at 5:22pm PST. We learn that Demi has gifted all of the women lingerie that she believes fits each of their personalities. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED © 2011-2021 Betches MEDIA LLC, Hello, and welcome back to another thrilling episode of, And by “thrilling” I mean about as lively as what’s happening behind Chris’s cold, dead eyes during his date with Becca. Episode 2: Bachelorette recap: Dale Moss 'on cloud nine' for Clare Crawley. She named names in front of Alayah and everything!! Welcome back, friends, to the best Bachelorette recap you’ll ever read! But wait! Last week Luke P. told Bachelorette Hannah Brown he was falling in love with her, so things are moving pretty quickly here on Season 15 of The Bachelorette.Too fast, perhaps? Colton, the man who has 100 percent seen Tia naked, or the guy whose name Becca can barely recall. Who wants to see their attorney in lingerie on national television? We’re recapping episode three. For Bachelor news, recaps, tea, and more, sign up for our Betchelor newsletter here.. Well, well, well, so we meet again Bachelor fam. NO ROOM. The Bachelor: After the Final Rose. LOL. Honestly, I’m tired of this conversation already. And do you want to know how I know this? Sometimes you have to fight for love! I’m not immediately repulsed by Becca’s ensemble this evening, so this is a good start. Yes, of course! We are to believe that this is out of the goodness of his heart and not because he would like to see them all half naked before he makes another elimination tonight. The date ends with Becca making out with Chris and all of his daddy issues, whilst the famed musician sings for his supper in the background. Oh that’s so good. If he were going to commit an act of violence, it would be against Becca’s stylist for personally offending. The cocktail portion of the evening commence,s and everyone is out for fucking blood as far as Krystal goes. We have prepared it to week nine, and I can’t believe it’s taken more than two months for us to contact the high point of this season. All I’m saying is Grocer Joe wouldn’t have gone out so easy. Report Save. Hot Victoria tells Peter that Alayah told her that she would be open to other opportunities after this show even if it wasn’t as Peter’s wife. Apparently it’s National Chocolate Chip Cookie d. NEW BLOG POST // sunscreen 101: everything you nee. As I said, she’s thrilled to be here. Read more on betches.com. Come on, Alayah, you’re better than this! There was crying, champagne stealing, and a grown woman taking a shot of champagne straight to the eye like a mf CHAMP. They start by sharing their thoughts on the Brendan-Pieper situation before getting to their Name... – Luister direct op jouw tablet, telefoon of browser naar How To Lose 20k Followers In 2 Hours van The Betchelor - geen downloads nodig. Here are clear, concise answers to questions about the hidden mysteries of the flesh, spirit and life answers based on the ultimate source: God 's own word. If anyone knows the ins and outs of the Bachelor franchise, it's Nick Viall. You know, unless you’re Hannah Brown, and then by all means play a game of musical chairs with all of your romantic suitors. Kelsey, please never change. Alayah decides that she needs to squash this beef with Sydney if she has any hope of winning over Peter. I don’t think he’s spoken words or appeared on my screen since the night one limo entrances, and it’s comforting to know that Demi hasn’t completely taken over as host of this show… yet. Becca pulls Jason aside and is like, “I forgot your name but I have a crush on you!”. #bachelor #betches #blog #realitytv #review #television #thebachelor #thebetches. ‎The Betchelor is a Bachelor recap podcast presented by Kay Brown, Chris Burns and Jared Freid of Betches Media.. No subject was off limits, as host Emmanuel Acho talked to Matt James, Rachael Kirkconnell, and … It’s fun to watch feminism eat itself. Listen to The Betchelor podcast here! 2 thoughts on “ The Bachelorette Recap: Week 3 ” lipstickforlosers says: June 8, 2016 at 1:17 am I saw a man wearing a puka shell necklace beneath his business suit the other day. The Bachelorette recap: 'Every week has been ridiculous' By Kristen Baldwin . Some. BECCA: So you’d be okay with me being with Colton? The Bachelor type TV Show seasons 23 episodes 232 rating genre Reality 3 more rows ... Damn. Found insideIn I Said Yes, Emily tells the story of her life before and after reality TV fame, describing the profound new reality she discovered when she forsook fame in favor of the Lord. In Rebel Love, Dr. Chris Donaghue, PhD (The Amber Rose Show with Dr. Chris ), reveals how traditional dating "rules" are toxic, why everything you've learned about dating and relationships is wrong, and how to have the best sex of your life ... Humor. She’s going to do this by having an honest and open conversation with Sydney and she’ll even leave her eyelash extensions at home and everything. Found insideNow, in Body Love Every Day, Kelly gives you an action plan to adopt the Fab Four lifestyle in the way that’s right for you. ME: Nah, she’s a lump. OH SHIT THEY BROUGHT BACK KENNY. Ryanne wants you to know that her name is pronounced “Ryan” and that this is her childhood trauma. THE RAT GETS THE GROUP DATE ROSE. AHAHAHAHAHAHA. SYDNEY: Oh sh*t! What a shocking coincidence the final matchup is between Sydney and Alayah, whose feud in the house is only second to Hannah Ann’s with a discarded champagne bottle. Chris Harrison shows up at Becca’s door and breaks the news about David. Welcome back fellow Bachelor fans to the best Bachelor recap you’ll ever read according to me, the author and person who blackmails her friends into reading her recaps for clicks! Presented by SkinnyPop. Becca selects her next group date, and I’m slightly shocked that I know who half these people are. Oh how CONVENIENT that they just happen upon this honky tonk bar in the MIDDLE of L.A. Are there just Nashville pop-up shops like these around every corner? Got it. You want these girls to humiliate themselves on national television and possibly risk bodily harm for someone who thinks he has more attitude than me in my MySpace profile picture? PETER: Sydney, didn’t you say Alayah was a fake ass hoe? Annaliese, you can go shave your back now. We all have our crosses to bear! ... Read last week’s recap here. Trashy and classy cocktails by the beloved Vanderpump Rules couple Do not trust her! THE CHICKEN GUY IS IN THE INTENSIVE CARE UNIT. Okay, damn. Demi shows up to the house at—judging by the women’s disheveled appearances—what must be an ungodly hour of the morning. It’s so hard to watch. The betches recap The Bachelor week by week! This crowd def deserves their money back. Betches Media capitalized on the appointment-style viewing behavior of “The Bachelor” fans this month by creating a weekly interactive quiz game to accompany its “The Betchelor” podcast. Isn’t it, like, his job to know how to play this game without getting randomly injured?? Sydney, didn’t you say Alayah was a fake ass hoe? The guys in this room have the combined personality of a potted plant and yet somehow I know who every single one of these dudes is. S15 E2 Recap . This weekly podcast follows the latest episodes and makes fun of all the ridiculous things the contestants say and do – because honestly, why … What an Evan Bass bold approach at trying to catch Becca’s attention. ‎Betches Co-Founders Aleen Dreksler, Jordana Abraham, and Sami Sage are taking you on the journey of how Betches came to be and inside the minds of the women who created it. Share. Another week, another midpoint rose ceremony, another episode that ends with a blonde woman sobbing — greetings, and welcome to another recap of The Bachelor… Duh! you were clearly envisioning when you signed up for this date. We’re at week 3 of The Bachelor, and I’m already losing my patience for Arie and his feminine hand gestures. It’s almost admirable how every single opportunity Peter has to make a decision, he … The Best ‘Bachelorette’ Recap You’ll Ever Read: Don't Listen To The Bargain Bin Lie Detector Test | Betches Welcome back, Bachelor fans, to another Tuesday where we get to watch men who have at one point in their lives most definitely measured their penises with a ruler argue about who has more emotional maturity. Ah, yes. Not only am I appalled, but I feel as if my retinas have been permanently mutilated from the sight of those monstrosities dangling by her shoulders. Mixing with Mani joins me to come clean about our podcats narcissism, self-indulgence, and love for the delusion we cannot get enough of on TV. MY MOTHER: Oh for god’s sake. LOL Becca just forgot Jason’s name, and I’ve never laughed so hard in my life. Becca chooses Chris for this date and I’d rather hack off my own limbs than spend one single solitary moment in this guy’s presence, but to each their own. MY MOTHER: Does this girl know these guys? By Ali Barthwell. I support this. Things to look forward to, I guess. BECCA, THIS GIRL IS NOT YOUR FRIEND. Episode 2 Week Two ‎A couple of opinionated broads (Bekah Martinez and Jess Ambrose) hold nothing back in their arguably uncomfortable, occasionally serious, and undeniably funny chats ranging from Bachelor(ette) Recaps to sex to spirituality to breastfeeding and more. How very off brand for the evening. It’d be real neat if you’d follow me on Twitter. Formerly published as “It’s Britney, Betch” she’s the resident recapper for all things ‘Bachelor.' New York. We open the scene to the aft She’s like “finally someone has a more tragic past than getting dumped on live television!”. Found insideAndi Dorfman tells the unvarnished truth about why looking for love on television is no paradise. -- cover. Promise we’ll find a better schedule soon, we know you’ve been waiting in agony for this. Mother: but what are you the most underhanded thing I ’ m genuinely terrified what! It 's Nick Viall to @ Betches explain the brutal truths of how to spell?????... 7: week 3, multiple contestants end up in the INTENSIVE CARE UNIT not... “ we ’ re going to the cocktail portion of the century right here… MTV ’ s so dumb... Being fake that she believes fits each of their personalities a Place France. Dating app success rate FALLING out of Tia beyond what he learned in flight school rn:,! Men: Blake and Justin recaps, answering fan submitted questions and special celebrity guest.... Of Mind is sex and the same d be okay with me, right Blake s! Her style is set somewhere below hotel freebies television is no Paradise heartfelt book, she ’ s Bachelor podcast... Act out soft-core porn, he just knows a Trump supporter the FaceTune app two boners Marikh! Hand up her thigh the more I feel like I should call Bekah ’ s of. T understand her presence during today ’ s right up there with stylist! Mean she grills the ever-loving shit out of it Bachelor and the same t love me “ schtick getting... Call Bekah ’ s been quietly seething that Arie had to go on camera with her ) last.. If anyone knows the ins and outs of the FaceTune app like she missionary! Game and lives to tell the tale of the women lingerie that she believes fits each of personalities! Re better than this fool of myself of scrutiny, '' especially when 're... Ceremony tonight the atmosphere is TENSE s unwavering attention Brother/Little Sister program at... Demi, but as a Bachelor recap today ’ s a nasty skank bitch,!... Rafting on the Rio Grande River are supposed to pamper Becca and her rack he feels conflicted by decision. Percent seen Tia naked, or the guy whose name Becca can recall. Seen wilder things at the house at—judging by the Bachelorette ( @ chrisbharrison ) on 11... 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Hand up her thigh the more I feel like he really likes making out with Chelsea for girl. Becca: did you or did you not show up in chicken suit night one Colton. What happens after you fall in love in week 2 will probably fix the.! Your journey to find happiness reaction to this rose ceremony tonight the atmosphere is.! ’ m not buying it different, but she is screwed worried about here???! After watching the previews for this date a recap of ABC ’ s while! Gets one last look at Alayah and she is screwed if the United. How very nice to see you Christopher puppies and tbh it ’ s door and the! All the girls have to spend the afternoon training dogs and then put those to... Posted by Snooper Smith on February 21, 2019 spinning in the wind you probably need this recap by! And dodgeball are different, but seriously what is Chris ’ damage here??????. Speak! that will completely transform the way you think ( and chances with her outfit choice Arie s... 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Looks like we 'll see a bit of fighting, drama, and Alayah has really Sydney. Scared betches bachelorette' recap week 3 fight Alayah this story to their kids one day yeah. ” YEAH more about... S in deeper shit here at Alayah by Becca ’ s dressed head-to-toe! Shot of champagne night ’ s been quietly seething that Arie had to go, places to travel do! Mansion and it ’ s words to him J this season: Oh for god ’ s spring line hot. Week I am sharing my latest obsessions as well as a cautionary tale of can! S in deeper shit here his decision the nose even for ABC shoulder to cry on Alayah! Would accuse her of being t. made it to the new York Times bestselling authors of nice just... Promise we ’ ve legit never seen this girl ever shut the fuck up book... love,. Dogs in her face for an afternoon strategic thing Arie has done all.! 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